I had contractions Monday evening and started to regret having the membranes stripped at my appointment. Contractions don't feel good and I was all the sudden worried that I had done something that would give myself more and bigger contractions to make me more miserable while I never go into labor! I knew I would cave and induce again if that happened and I didn't want that. WHAT HAD I DONE?!?! I had a couple that woke me up that night but that's not abnormal. Then...Tuesday morning, 7:14 am. The kids were up and I got out of bed. Mike was already navigating through the morning with them. I didn't make it to the door and then, BAM, another. And another. And another. Poured some coffee and sat on the couch and still contracting. I started to time them. I told Mike, this could be it if this continues! I took a shower and they continued. They were about 5 minutes apart...sometimes more, sometimes less, sometimes doable and then all the sudden stunning! Even though I really didn't think this was happening, I had the wherewithal to shave my legs just in case! Call it intuition. The kids were ready for school and so I decided to walk with everyone to see what it would do. So convinced that this wasn't really going to be it, I went in to discuss Ella's birthday details with her teacher...but as we left, I had another one and we found a friend to pick up Ella and Luca just in case!
We walked home and we thought we should do laundry...you know, just in case :) At this point I wasn't able to concentrate on that or even care so Mike put it in. Then...THEN...he went to the office. He wanted to get things squared away and get this...catch up on some reading. HA! Looking back, this is when I realize we both were in denial and slightly freaking out. Contractions were getting closer and stronger and he asked me to "give him an hour" to get the laundry in and out. It's so funny what was so important to us...clearly we had no idea what was coming. So I sat at the house continuing to time contractions that had me banging on doors and texting my friend Anne because I didn't know what to do! How did I not know what to do? It was about 9:15 and this had been going on for 2 hours. I was SO SCARED they'd send me home if I wasn't far enough in, or that they'd stop it, or what I just don't know haha. Her text kindly said, "um, you're in labor and you need to go to the hospital." I knew she was right but for some reason I stayed in the house feeding Milo fruit snacks while I banged on doors to cope with the pain and continued to text her about how scared I was. She called and ever so kindly told me to pull myself together and go. to. the. hospital. So I called Mike and we
All was well and the bleeding just came because I was entering the last stage of labor, the transitional stage, hence the whole hugging the telephone pole right outside the hospital door scene. It was no or never for the epidural. Apparently if you cry hard enough, they will give you a spinal block AND and epidural...I'm pretty sure she gave me the spinal block so she could safely administer the epidural. That was a first. And I wasn't mad about it. My walk sent me to 7 centimeters and 90% effaced. Once I got in bed and the glorious meds kicked in, I relaxed and finished the last part in no pain and so relieved that it took this time. Mike made all the calls to get our kids situated and we waited to have a baby! At about 3:30, I knew it was getting close. She has kept her hand on her face this entire pregnancy at every ultrasound and I could feel her wiggly little hand. At about 4:15 I knew...this was it! Everyone got prepped and I just took it all in. I gave 2 big pushes through one contraction and they said, ok stop! I made a joke about how I hadn't even broken a sweat and we all started laughing. They were amazed and said I was about to laugh my baby out! She said no more pushes but she needed to turn her around so just little 3 second pushes with breaths in between. I gathered myself waited for a brief dizzy spell to subside and I did just that. I got to feel her head and she was born in less than 5 minutes of pushing right onto my chest and it was love at first sight. It was so peaceful. She didn't cry. We were just amazed with her right away and awe struck...even on the 4th time...just blown away. We had made it. I think that is what I said to Mike, "we did it". After all these babies we've had...all the worry, joy, wonderment and a few trials, we had made it and our family was complete. And it was the birth story I had longed for. And the "one more" I longed for. And the sister for Ella I longed for. And we were finally all together safe, sound and healthy.
Our first moments...
hungry girl rooting in the air!
still has hand on her face...she came out that way!
Mike sent a text to our family right after she was born to let them know she was here. Picture requests immediately began flooding in and he and the midwife thought it would be hilarious to send them one of the placenta. So that's what they got. Ew, I know. But funny :)
Just like a baby bulldog, she began storing and grunting and nuzzling her way to the breast sucking on her hand, my arm, her arm, or just whatever she could find along the way! Girlfriend was HUNGRY! It was so amazing that she knew exactly what to do and which direction to go to get there. Simply amazing.
Doesn't she look so happy to be here?
We spent about an hour skin to skin. Then they took her to weigh in, clean up and get the stats. Our bitty baby weighed in at 7 lbs 8 oz and was 18.5 inches long. She's so petite that 7 lbs really fills her out...so adorable!
Doesn't she look so happy to be here?
Daddy finally got his hands on her and my oh my. We were in love.
We got her all gussied up and then began sharing her with the world!
We spent the evening in awe of this girl. Daddy got some good bonding time too.
I've always wanted to just go into labor. With Ella and Luca I was induced out of medical necessity but I didn't mind. It was nice because it allowed for planning and I was even more neurotic about planning and preparation back then :) With Milo I really didn't want to be induced! I had a disdain for pitocin. It gets the job done but MAN its a killer! As if labor isn't already hard enough. But then with all the rapid dilation and contracting, I didn't have the strength to go on one more day and had an elective induction. It was great and necessary and totally unnecessary to hang out in that condition!!! Plus, there was underlying fear with all the "what ifs"! What if I didn't get to the hospital in time? What if I did but couldn't get my epidural in time? But...everything always seems to work out just like it's supposed to (other than my epidural not working) and that's how it went down but this time I really just wanted to casually go into labor on my own. I'm so thankful for this experience with Olli and really feel like God laid out every detail of her birth. It was a beautiful note to go out on. I feel complete, happy, content and whole. I look back and I know that my mama heart longed for her. It sounded crazy to have another baby but at the same time, I didn't think we were up to it or that we should because we had 3 beautiful babies! I chalked it up to grieving the fact that that stage of my life was over and that Milo was only growing. But really it was Olli. I don't feel that way anymore and I'm not grieving a thing! These are precious days and they are fleeting, but my heart is complete.
Later that night, the big kids got to come meet her. They were already in their pjs and it was late on a school night but bless their hearts they were about to burst. Mike drove to the house to pick them up...we HAD to let them meet their baby sister! They had been waiting so long!
You can see the pride and joy on their faces!
She's really cute
I love her
She looks like a human
I thought she'd look like a baby doll and sometimes those scare me. I'm glad she looks like a human.
Then we took a picture of our new family minus Milo and the kids went home to go to bed. When they got home, Luca said he was scared because Mommy was really really tired. Ella told Auntie Ann that she was so glad Daddy was there because Mommy really really needed him. Such little sweeties. Sharing this with them makes it even more special.
In the past 4 days with her, I've struggled with the idea that she just happened! We weren't trying again and really she beat a lot of odds to be conceived on purpose let alone accidentally! I've felt panicked thinking how much we would be missing out on if she had not happened...the "what if" we didn't have her and were living the wrong life and didn't realize it haha. I feel sad thinking about a life without her like I should have known! I've been distraught a couple times that we were "planning" to miss out on her! I know I know, these are crazy mom hormones talking. No one...NO ONE...is crazier than a woman who just gave birth. But I think the point here is that we are in love and have seen that God has a perfect plan, even when we plan otherwise. We have been reminded of His goodness towards us and how He planned for her to be here despite our plans. We are overwhelmed by this. He truly knows the desires of our heart. "The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy!" Ps 126:3