Friday, August 7, 2015

Rough Week

Honest mom blogpost judging!

This week was a pretty rough pregnancy week...but I'm going focus on the positive! I've been having migraines with this Ollipop so Mike has taken on so much more with me and the kids. And he already does a lot :) But last weekend, on Saturday, I had the best. day. ever. with these 3 littles. I sent Mike out to the movies and I manned the crowd :) If I'm being honest, this stage of parenting has been tough and I wasn't super excited that morning. I had my game face on and was prepared for chaos. I was prepared to handle sibling fights, back talk, complaining and...hurricane Milo. My goal was to not yell. I'm serious. This summer has been hard. REALLY HARD. I haven't felt the best and these adorable little faces below aren't always so angelic ;) I've been worried about HOW IN THE WORLD I will be able to take care of another one. I know I won't feel pregnant and crappy for the rest of my life but still. But Saturday, I put my supermom cape on and we took a rare outing with a very pregnant Mommy and her 3 babes for a {hopefully} fun filled day.
Ok, I said I was staying positive, but I have to back up to that morning before we left. It was just a typical morning that I woke up to someone crying, yelling, needing, pooping, fighting, hungry, and/or having a grande ole time doing whatever one pleases. Mike and I both are very orderly people and have set boundaries and expectations but something has happened this summer and the 'you know what' has hit the fan in the Reading house. It was just that morning that I had banished them to their rooms and crawled back into bed fearful of what the day would hold, crying and wondering how things in life will ever be fun again. Did I have too many kids to enjoy life?  With all the errands, worry, chaos, food, stress, diapers and schedules...I have been wondering if I was totally wrong. Or God was totally wrong. Maybe he had accidentally blessed with one too many. I mean I wouldn't trade one of them for the world but could a trip to the zoo be more enjoyable with just one child? (and no judging please-I found the answer to that question that I'll share later). These are things that I have questioned my my exhausted, emotional and fragile state these days. That morning, after I regrouped and let them out of their rooms, I served breakfast that I couldn't possibly get everyone to eat at the same time which means I cleaned it up 3 different times. My mom called so I stepped back into my room for a few minutes and by the time I came back out, the grapes that I told them they couldn't have were smushed all over the floor. Salt was poured all over the table {again} because Milo. And the chandelier was swinging. But now to the good part...
  Saturday was one of those days where the stars aligned and my kids returned to their original form and not just for a moment, but for the entire day, I was able to see the sweetness in my children remember the preciousness of this time. Everyone got along. No one lost their marbles {including me}. No cries, just giggles. They told me I was the best mom ever and even said thank you! Nothing prompted and nothing extravagant...just a day out with kids having fun and experiencing joy. My heart was bursting, my confidence uplifted, my hope for the future renewed :) I know things will happen and every day will hold its own struggles. Parenting is not easy. But today was a reminder of what a gift I have been given. That we WILL be ok. I had an epiphany that this too is just a stage, just like the mom who never things she'll sleep again when she has a newborn baby. That day we made an outing to Hobby Lobby. Luca played with the automatic door and jammed it but hey, that was the only casualty. That's pretty tame for us! They wanted pizza so we went to a sit down restaurant...I repeat, A SIT DOWN RESTAURANT...for lunch. Then we headed for the park where everyone played nicely, played together, played apart, helped each other and were content for what seemed like the first time this entire summer. I just sat there kind of confused thinking, "what is going on?!?" {And I actually wrote this part of the post sitting at the park...WHAAAAAAT??!!??!!}
I think exhasperated is the word I've been looking forward to describe the last few months. But this day has carried me far. I'm finishing this post nearly a week later and this day has meant so much to me every day this week. My kids aren't perfect, but to me they are perfection. My messy, chaotic, loud, busy, dramatic life is also my joy and happiness. I know without a doubt that taking an easy trip to the zoo with one kid would never fulfill me as much as a lifetime of life with these three {almost four} little lovelies. I would miss out of so much adventure and precious times if I based my life around simplicity and stability, or if my main goal was to have an easy life.  I want to live. Truly live.   I mean, I seriously doubt that when I'm old and my kids are grown that I'll still be arguing with Ella as to why she can't wear purple eyeshadow and pink glitter all over her face to church or reassembling doorknobs that Luca has unscrewed from the doors or chasing Milo to keep him from screaming and banging his head on the wall. And when Olli is born, you can remind me that someday I will sleep through the night again. This will pass and I'll be exasperated about something else I'm sure! I'm just really thankful for this Saturday to bring me back to the place where I can see the hard times for what  they are...a stage. And I have eyes again to see the precious moments in between. 

 He is obsessed with her. Obsessed may not even accurately describe it!
 On a humorous {and very real} note, with all the "life" that's been happening up in here, I was driven to make the call. This has all seemed very sad and too final up until...Wednesday, August 5, 2015. I decided Mike would never feel the drive or inspiration that I feel when I'm home all week with 3 little lovelies and a pregnancy induced migraine that lasted for 4 days. I couldn't get relief from the pain but this helped a little...
 I've heard wonderful things about Dr. Snip. Yep, that's his name! It's like this was his calling. Like it was for me, Mrs. Reading, to be a first grade teacher :) And I knew once I saw the adds on his website that this was the guy for us! BAAAhahahaha. {my very best evil laugh}
 Wednesday was also the day that this little beefcake turned FIVE!!!! I was still recovering but got some good meds to get me through the day. He had VBS in the morning. 
Then Auntie Anna and Uncle Conn brought by presents and a birthday treat...

And then he wanted pizza for his birthday meal...the same pizza that we had Saturday on our magical Facebook brag worthy outing. It told me it was a special day for him too!

 I finished strong this week pulling together the final touches for Luca's superhero birthday party on Saturday...
I even managed to get it all done with my cute little helper that is more cute than helpful and insists these days on being naked and wearing shoes...
Here's a little sneak peak of the fun to come tomorrow!


Kim said...

You are strong and amazing! I love the party favors, my youngest wants to have an Avengers party for his in November, would you mind sharing where you got your supplies?

Sue Beckman said...

I love your truth and realness. Thank you for honesty.
You are such a creative person in an area that, frankly, I'm not. Crafting is not my thing, but you are amazing in that!
Can't wait to see Ollie Mae!
Glad you are home. Be blessed.