Monday, November 25, 2013

Still waiting for Milo!

You know you're 9 months pregnant when you would rather have a huge glass of ice water first thing on a cold sleepy morning instead of a hot cup of coffee. Crunching ice is the most relaxing and satisfying thing to me right now. That, and taking piping hot baths while covered in ice packs. I have no idea. We are so close to meeting Milo that I can't hardly stand it! We've been waiting on pins and needles since last Wednesday. I went to the doctor and was 4 centimeters dilated, 60% effaced and -1 station. The doctor didn't think I'd make it through the weekend, but here we are on Monday morning! We've timed contractions every day. They happen all day long, but just not close enough together! I've tortured myself with heartburn eating all the spicy food I can get my hands on. I've walked the mall until my legs feel like they are disconnecting from my hip joints. I've vacuumed and mopped my perfectly clean floors over and over to regulate these contractions. I've made Mike rub my ankles. I've tried it all! My body is moving forward but Milo is staying cozy. I've done this twice before and I've geared myself up to stay strong to the very end knowing that the day WILL come and he WILL be here and I WILL survive delivery and I WILL want to put him back in my belly at some point when things get hard :) but my mind and body are taking over what I know and I'm loosing my mental and physical strength! All I can think about is this sweet little baby. My excitement to have him combined with the fatigue from the laboring has just worn me down emotionally and physically. It's been a long road to have this baby. After our loss, we had to wait so long for the doctors to give us the clear. Then we had to wait longer for our hearts to be ready. Then once we got pregnant, we've waited through the pregnancy. We've waited so long for this little one and loved him long before we even knew if we'd have the courage and faith to try to have him. And now he's almost here! What a journey.
We are set to be induced Friday at 39 weeks if he doesn't come by then. I swore I would not have anything to do with pitocin this time if he and I remained healthy. Unlike Ella and Luca, Milo's heart rate has remained strong inside and he is doing just fine! However, induction is an offer I can't refuse while walking around stuck in a certain stage of labor while my body progresses and prepares to the point of delivering this baby. I see nothing wrong with a little pitocin at this point. Perspective :) I also have to consider that Ella was born in 5 1/2 hours and Luca was born in 2 1/2 hours and I'm already half way to the push point! Sitting around waiting to go into labor has it's risks (not dangerous ones...just painful ones haha). There is a cut off point in which you are allowed to get that glorious epidural and I'm nearing it every day as I progress with each contraction! What if there is not enough time to get to the hospital and get the hook up? Or what if I didn't get to the hospital? Yikes. I'd rather be induced. I go back to the doctor tomorrow to "strip the membranes". I had to google it. It doesn't sound totally pleasant, but, it may help put me over the edge before our induction Friday! Anyway, in the meantime, I'm going to put the discomfort and anxiety aside and try to focus on enjoying the last few days of having this little life inside of me safe and sound. And I'm going to take plenty of hot baths with ice packs all while crunching my ice :) It's baby time!

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